I see fat kids on the street all the time and I give them free radiohead t-shirts with bullseyes on them. Later when I see them wearing the t-shirts I shoot at them with bb guns while riding a very large dog and singing kicking squealing gucci little piggy over and over
One of the interesting things here is that the people who should be shaping the future are politicians. But the political framework itself is so dead and closed that people look to other sources, like artists, because art and music allow people a certain freedom.
The society, is, a dishwasher, where all the water, is, dead chipmunk blood. God I'm brilliant.
People sometimes say we take things too seriously, but it's the only way you'll get anywhere.
I'm glad I escaped the clutches of those evil gnomes... I'm talking, of course, about Puerto Ricans.
Nobody wins the superbowl, I win the superbowl. I am the superbowl.
I'm not afraid of computers taking over the world. They're just sitting there. I can hit them with a two by four.
Technology is killing us. We think it's helping us but it's killing us. Don't ask me why because I don't have the time or the attention span to complete that thought. Now let's all hold hands and draw spider monkeys.
I actually saw the loch ness monster when I was 9. She was big as a house. Want to know who the loch ness monster is? It's your obese mother. Burn mother****er
I'm not saying my fans are stupid, but I once left a cabbage onstage next to a harmonica and nobody noticed for three hours
I stopped showering ever since I realized water causes people to drown. I cannot risk being so close to something that can murder me. Do you let killers into your house? Oh, but you let a murderer come out of your own faucet. Hypocrite.
If I was made of chocolate I would melt myself in a car to ruin the interior.
It's not racist if I like the race. But I don't like Asian people.
I think the most important thing about music is the sense of escape.
I recently enrolled at an elementary school and they accepted me. I am finally going to get revenge on those kids that beat me up as a boy, assuming they are still attending.
Sometimes the nicest thing to do with a guitar is just look at it.
The allegations of me being a pedophile are spurious, at best. However I will admit that taking my knickers off in the park and having an Easter Egg hunt with those apple-cheeked four year olds was in my best interest and not theirs
The difference between me and Bono is that he's quite happy to go and flatter people to get what he wants and he's very good at it, but I just can't do it. I'd probably end up punching them in the face rather than shaking their hand, so it's best that I stay out of their way. I can't engage with that level of bullshit. Which is a shame, really, and in a way it would help if I could, but I just can't. I admire the fact that Bono can, and can walk away from it smelling of roses.
Most of my dancing is actually convulsions from having to listen to my own music
My nickname in college was talentless midget who has a lazy eye is missing teeth resembles a shaved troll doll because I'm a talentless midget who has a lazy eye is missing teeth resembles a shaved troll dol
Yes I usually make my kids eat their veggie chops and watch my concerts in dead silence. If they ask to watch spongebob squarepants I usually do something volatile like make them eat a yellow sponge with googly eyes on it. I hit them quite a bit, but then again I blame the condom manufacturing government for forcing me to birth them.
Have you ever seen any member of radiohead aside from me in public? Do they interact or 'lift' objects? Holograms, all of them. I created them in 1991 using my massive brainpower. Even pitchforkmedia is a product of my brilliant imagination.
Radiohead is overrated. Thom Yorke's solo output, however, is brilliant.
You cannot kickstart a dead horse
I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I know maybe they don't really think it's a funny joke.
I'm the next act Waiting in the wings I'm an animal Trapped in your hot car I am all of the days That you choose to ignore You are all I need You are all I need I'm in the middle of your picture Lying in the reeds.
I lost my virginity to a pumpkin when I was 23. Back then I was convinced I was actually a Vegetable, hell, that's what the song is about.
Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it’s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you’re a part of them.
When people ask me for an autograph I usually ask for a pen and then stab them with it.
I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at every show for the rest of my life, or admit that a taser can damage the Thom Yorke
There's nothing more boring than a rock'n'roll star. Someone who has been on the road for 10 years, expecting attention wherever he goes, drinking himself stupid, who is obnoxious, incoherent, uncreative, and has a massive ego. There's nothing more pointless.
You can't make an egg without frying an egg
If I had one wish I'd wish for a million wishes because I am clever.
I grew up under Thatcher. I grew up believing that I was fundamentally powerless. Then gradually over the years it occurred to me that this was actually a very convenient myth for the state.
And then computers got to a point where you could just record directly into them. So when that happened, funny enough, I thought, Right, I'm going to learn how to do this because then I can understand that part.
Making music for Radiohead is like going to the bathroom, I'm just going to the bathroom constantly, and millions are watching me go to the bathroom.
I'm actually an athiest. That's kind of deep you must admit.
Hungry Hungry Hippos is so depressing. You continuously chomp away at those balls and you are alone and it's your birthday.'
I know I'm 38 but I insist that santa claus exists and he raped my mother when I was 9.
I named my son Noah for the same reason Chris Martin named his apple: we're asses.
Treefingers is important, it's the point in which our protagonist crosses the icy tundra that is how to disappear completely to reach the island of Optimistic. But seriously, kill yourself.
There was a clown that tried to eat me as a boy, in my nightmares. Years later I found a clown for booking online who resembled him named Patches. Needless to say, Patches is dead now.
If we replaced all of our guns with chicken sandwiches it would end all war immediately.
Well, I've been reading a lot about the fifty years since the Second World War, about Western foreign policy and all that. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes I just think that there's no hope.
I became a vegan because I'm better than you
I sometimes have birthday parties for the kids in my neighborhood and then pretend to suggest that I am going to molest them to the parents. It's a hilarious prank even though I am not a paedophile.
I can't wait to die so I can be a skeleton and play my chest like a xylophone.
Sometimes we and the members of Coldplay have an orgy together, (Martin) insists we don't invite any women, but I always invite a few. Usually I sing Fake Plastic Trees while he reams me from behind *Laughs* It wears me out *laughs*.
Sonic the hedgehog is a beautiful statement on capitalism. You spend your whole life collecting yellow rings and then hit one spike and lose them all. And there is a fat man who wants to kill you.
Us on hard drugs? That would be horrible. We'd probably end up sounding like Bryan Adams.My girlfriend has this quote in her sketchbook: Remain orderly in your life so you can be free and chaotic in your work. I think basically you lose it when you destroy your brain or destroy yourself emotionally or burn yourself up.
The more you try to erase me The more, the more The more that I appear
I'm horrified of leprechauns. I'm horrified that I might be leprechauns.
My mother tried to abort me herself with a coathanger, hence my wobbly eye.
If I could be any animal I would be a pony because then I could have sex with ponies.
We weren't listening to guitar bands, we were thoroughly ashamed of being a guitar band. So we bought loads of keyboards and learned how to use them, and when we got bored we went back to guitars.
Someone needs to tell the truth, but it shouldn't be my job.
The concept of Kid A? How about the concept of I kick your ****ing ass
Well actually I'm not a man but a carrot. The band was eating salads one day and a carrot fell off of the salad bar onto a microphone and the band realized that they had just discovered something brilliant. Me.
I can be very drunk in a club in Oxford on a Monday night and some guy comes up to you and buys you a drink and says that the last record you made changed his life. That means something.
I've been reading a book lately. That book is Thom Yorke, and the conclusion is that he's brilliant.
It's a fine line between writing something with genuine emotional impact and turning into little idiots feeling sorry for ourselves and playing stadium rock.
I'll regularly just burst out into laughter at funerals, at the expense of the dead. What's the difference between a dead person and Thom Yorke? One is talented and the other is dead. **** you grandma
The hardest part about being in Radiohead is listening to my own music.
I agree with whoever said Spice Girls are soft port. They're the antichrist.
I bought a blimp just so I could get a bunch of wankers excited over nothing, what did you do with your weekend?
I have no idea what I am talking about I'm trapped in this body and can't get out
People are born with certain faces, like my father was born with a face that people want to hit.
I was abducted by aliens as a boy. Aliens is the name of a pedophile who lived in my alley.
Ambition makes you look pretty ugly Kicking, squealing Gucci little piggy.
It's hard being Thom Yorke. You have to get up every morning and look at that face and not shoot at it with a gun.
Look at that fat kid, in the audience. You want some pie you little fatty? I strongly dislike fat kids. Security, please remove him, that fat kid, over there, by the pies.
The whole point of creating music for me is to give voice to things that aren't normally given voice to.
My parents mistook me for a sack of potatoes so I sat in the corner of the kitchen for the first 13 years of my life. My birth name is Thom Potatoes.
I don't know why people called me Tom. My name is THUMB.
The only thing worse than Radiohead fans is everything else except me
I don't write lyrics, the lyrics write Thom Yorke
I feel like as musicians we need to fight the Spotify thing. I feel that in some ways what's happening in the mainstream is the last gasp of the old industry. Once that does finally die, which it will, something else will happen.
I don't even have children, it's just been an excuse to play jenga and hit softballs in my backyard with a box of laundry detergant wearing baby clothes.
My nickname in high school was jack-o-lantern because I'm missing 9 teeth
Ironically my brother died in a car accident shortly after Airbag was recorded. He's not an identical twin so I didn't care.
I think what makes people ill a lot of the time is the belief that your thoughts are concrete and that you're responsible for your thoughts. Whereas actually - the way I see it - your thoughts are what the wind blows through your mind.
I don't eat food, I Thom Yorke it. What's the difference? When normal people "eat" food, they first chew it with their "teeth" until it's small enough to go through their "esophagus" and then be broken down in their "stomach" and absorbed. When I Thom Yorke food, I chew it with my Thom Yorkes until it's small enough to go through my Yorke tube. It's then broken down in my Thomach, where if I eat too much sweets, I get a mean Thommy ache! But it's okay because Jonny's usually there to rub the pain out.
My uncle used to sit me on his lap and play "ventriloquist", only I wasn't wearing pants.
I'm achingly aware of my own limitations as both part of the human race and as an individual. I'm just, casting this out that, maybe, I'm not so perfect as is the affront I oft put on. After all, the lyric is 'I wish I was special'. I truly just want to be loved and accepted, I think, like all humans.
I think artists can influence only through making music that challenges people, excites them and flips them out. Music that repeats what you know in ever-decreasing derivation, that's unchallenging and unstimulating, deadens our minds, our imagination and our ability to see beyond the hell we find ourselves in.
Occasionally I'll just pull out a rifle and shoot one of my audience members. So far there have been no complaints filed.
In November I'll be releasing my new solo record, entitled 'Box Of Bees'. There's no music, it's just a box full of live bees. The deluxe edition comes with more bees.
I often steal sandwiches, eat them, and put the container's back., with a signed autograph of my self in its place. It's my way of giving back to society.
Imagine? Yeah I can imagine John Lennon being dead.
I'm listening to Aphex Twin. That makes me cultured and interesting.
Can you imagine a world in which the letter O does not exist? My name would be Thm Yrke. Think about that.
I am all the days that you choose to ignore.
I'm absolutely terrified that people can get into cars. It's like the car is a face, and the headlight is eyes, and when you open the car door it's like you're climbing into the ears. (I cannot) be inside a giant rolling robot head.
I want to be alone and I want people to notice me — both at the same time.
I love listening to music with my mate. We don't do it often, but when we do we'll just sit there and lose our heads in it. Sooner or later he'll start saying something to the effect of "Hey, Thom, can you put in something else now?" but I'll just nod coldly and respond "not just yet". But after awhile, I'll finally budge. And that's when I crack a big smile and take out The Bends and put in Kid A. My friend just sighs and leaves the room, and I can't blame him. He's not ready for that leap yet.
Trying to find my flaws is like trying to find a black person at one of our concerts
Your fantasies are unlikely. But beautiful.
I'm still not certain on the nature of the spork, whether it is a fork and a spoon, or a fork and a knife mixed together, or maybe a fork and a fork on top. Life is full of mysteries yeah man
It's easy to be miserable. Being happy is tougher - and cooler.
I had a dream where my face was a hamburger. What the?
Amnesiac was written to make fun of senior citizens with alzheimers. I hate them and I wish they'd die.
I could not extrapolate some emotion from any song after 1997 so I bought a drum machine and popped pills. The pink ones make me funny like elephants!
Metaphorically I am made of chairs. It's a metaphor though. That means I am not actually made of the chairs.
If you forget about the money issue for just a minute, if it's possible to do that - because these are people's livelihoods we're talking about - and you look at Internet in terms of the most amazing broadcasting network ever built, then it's completely different. In some ways, that's the best way of looking at it.
Every Christmas people are so nice to me, they think I am Little Tim from A Christmas Story. But I'm not. *smiles*
If I were to be any celebrity, I'd be Chris Martin. I've always wondered what it would be like to be jealous of Thom Yorke.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he's a goddamn chicken he doesn't know what the **** he's doing
I ultimately decided that I couldn't beat it more than three times a day, (I) was just too drained and chapped. That's what Radiohead is about. You're just drained and chapped, down there.
To protest, I stood in the place of a waste receptacle and opened my mouth. That's how I lost my virginity *laughs*
I'm celibate. It's not that I'm a religious or moral person or anything, it's just, if you aren't ****ing Thom Yorke, what's the point? Actually, just kidding, Thom Yorke and I **** all the time. Hehehe. Had you.
The band name came about when the original vocalist died when a huge radio fell on his head. He trotted about for a while dancing with the radio on his head, before he died of asphyxiation and blood loss. *Laughs* it was hilarious
Isn't it strange how someone can be both human and divine at the same time? I am referring, of course, to myself.
I'm not a martyr, just a musician who dies for your sins. Oh, that's what a martyr is? Very well then, I am a martyr, if you insist.
Alot of my lyrics are about beating my children. 'Hit the bottom and escape' is a cry for help. oh god someone stop me
Hunting Bears is a complex song. A bear, as you know is another term for a chubby chaser. The guitar line is actually the sound of a fat man's thighs rubbing together as he approaches another lardy male for a night of sexual deviance.
If I were a bottle of wine, my name would be Thom Cork
Someone once asked me how the universe was created, I told him it all began with Pablo Honey
Sometimes I stand in store windows and pretend to be a mannequin. People are like 'hey, that mannequin looks alot like thom yorke' Then I start to sing The Gloaming and lurch toward them and they run off horrified.
Space Jam is my favorite movie. Don't ask me why, it just is.
Remember that Cosby show where he harrassed the children? Well I put on a little suit and because I am so small they invited me on but nobody was laughing at my jokes. I guess I'm just, too, particularly smart for them.
Yeah, after making Pablo Honey, we started experimenting with cloning myself in order to double the band's creative energy. However, the experiment was a failure, and the defective Thom Yorke clone escaped. And formed a band called Muse.
There's the beautiful people and then there's the rest of us.
I think no artist can claim to have any access to the truth, or an authentic version of an event. But obviously they have slightly better means at their disposal because they have their art to energize whatever it is they're trying to write about. They have music.
The only real difference between me and chocolate pudding is that I am not a black man.
There are a lot of things I cannot do, such as eat books and read chicken.
