I wanna grow up and be a critic.
In March I had a minor heart attack while I was vacationing in Australia. it scared me, but it was nothing compared to what someone had in store for me down the road.
I believe the ability to think is blessed. If you can think about a situation, you can deal with it. The big struggle is to keep your head clear enough to think.
So after Another You I ran off to my very own piece of paradise, my home in Hana.
I was given two weeks to walk again, so I hooked up with a trainer, and he... had me walking. I'll never forget that, it was grueling.
If I thought about it, I could be bitter, but I don't feel like being bitter. Being bitter makes you immobile, and there's too much that I still want to do.
There's a thin line between to laugh with and to laugh at.
You have to have lived some life. You've got to have paid some dues.
I had some great things and I had some bad things. The best and the worst . . . In other words, I had a life.
If you ask me about women's lib, I say I don't even know what that is.
I know that if I wasn't scared, something's wrong, because the thrill is what's scary.
Crosses only scare vampires away because they're allergic to bullshit.
A lie is profanity. A lie is the worst thing in the world. Art is the ability to tell the truth.
I'm slower and some days are better than others, but I'm a fighter.
I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety.
Everyone carries around his own monsters.
Booty is just a ghetto expression, and I'm just a booty star.
He's just always positive. He's always smiling and he's always trying.
It's so much easier for me to talk about my life in front of two thousand people than it is one-to-one. I'm a real defensive person, because if you were sensitive in my neighborhood you were something to eat.
I live in racist America and I'm uneducated, yet a lot of people love me and like what I do, and I can make a living from it. You can't do much better than that.
I just don't want to die alone, that's all. That's not too much to ask for, is it It would be nice to have someone care about me, for who I am, not about my wallet.
I realized this is what God has dealt me, and I should be thankful considering all that's happened to me in my life, but MS caused the movies to stop - stop dead - and I miss it.
Hawaii is the best form of comfort for me. When I die, I want to be cremated, and I want half my ashes spread in the Pacific around the island, the rest on the property.
There's a lot more hypocrisy than before. Racism has gone back underground.
When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude.
Now they're calling taking drugs an epidemic - that's cos white folks are doing it.
I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.
I became a performer because it was what I enjoyed doing.
All humor is rooted in pain.
There's nothing worse than being an aging young person.
What I'm saying might be profane, but it's also profound.
I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true.
I don't want them hip white people coming up to me and calling me no n - - or telling me n - - jokes. I don't like it.
I went through every phone book in Africa, and I didn't find one god damned Pryor!
Why get killed when you can run ... your ego will heal much faster than a broken jaw.
My grandmother used to discipline me, I mean, beat my ass, and I deserved them, too.
What I never understand about a hangover is, where does the breath come from? You know what I mean? I mean, is someone shitting in your mouth?
I won't talk about what it was like in prison, except to say I'm glad I'm out and that I plan never to go back and to pay my taxes every day.
Have you ever noticed how quiet you get when you go in the woods? It's almost like you know that God's there.
I was kicked out of school because of my attitude. I was not assimilating. So I went to work, taking any jobs I could get.
Friends take up time, and I didn't have time.
To be diagnosed was the hardest thing because I didn't know what they were talking about... And the doctor said, Don't worry, in three months you'll know. So I went about my business and then, one day, it jumped me. I couldn't get up... Your muscles trick you; they did me.
No, I'm not dying, and I sure... ain't dead.
I don't want to go through life as a Wonder Wheel murderer!
I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying till I get it right.
If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend, Eric, you earn a friend through love and trust and respect.
Most people that you talk to, they's intelligent. Like I said, "Most people."
I expected Dracula to come jumping out any second. If he did I'd have held up a cross, cause he's allergic to bullshit.
There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace.
I don't see myself getting married again, but if I do, it will be forever.
Freebase? What's free about it?
I love show business. I wake up every morning and kiss it.
Rosa Parks showed us all that one little person can make a whole bunch of noise without so much as a whisper. She showed the world that the color of your skin shouldn't determine what part of the bus you sit in... as you ride through life.
You gotta be cool when you're macho man, cuz you can't be sensitive and care about someone having a good time in bed, cuz that's too scary... When you don't use sensitivity when you're having sex, or share some of your soul, nothing gonna happen, because men really get afraid. Men really get scared in bed.
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.
The black groups that boycott certain films would do better to get the money together to make the films they want to see, or stay in church and leave us to our work.
The way I see it, the earth is going to be here after we're dead and gone. Even if it's a polluted planet, and they messed it up. Where do they go from here - to another planet so they can mess that up too?
Unfortunately, the show's success comes at the expense of its biggest asset -- the comedians themselves.
Two things people throughout history have had in common are hatred and humour. I am proud that I have been able to use humour to lessen people's hatred.
I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, I wanna grow up and be a critic.
When I was in Africa, this voice came to me and said, "Richard, what do you see?" I said, "I see all types of people." The voice said, "But do you see any niggers?" I said, "No." It said, "Do you know why? 'Cause there aren't any."
I went to Zimbabwe. I know how white people feel in America now; relaxed! Cause when I heard the police car I knew they weren't coming after me!
I believe in divine forces and energies.
You don't get to be old bein' no fool.
Imagine people calling you to find out if you're dead. I've led a real crazy life at times, and I've had many strange things happen to me, but that was one of the strangest.
A sold-out house my first night back. Do you have any idea what kinda pressure that is? I could have been at home in my warm bed, playing Nintendo.
I see people as the nucleus of a great idea that hasn't come to be yet.
That's insanity. We must be good all the time.
There are only two pieces of pussy you're gonna get in your entire life, that's your first and your last.
I think about dying. I've come to realize we all die alone in one way or another.
Even when I was a little kid, I always said I would be in the movies one day, and damned if I didn't make it.
When that fire hit your ass, it will sober your ass up quick! I saw something, I went, Well, that's a pretty blue. You know what? That looks like... FIRE! Fire is inspirational. They should use it in the Olympics, because I ran the 100 in 4.3.
Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?
Movies are movies, and I don't think any of them are going to hurt the moral fiber of America and all that nonsense.
I'm not for integration and I'm not against it.
I'm for human lib, the liberation of all people, not just black people or female people or gay people.
I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.
You work your butt off and somebody says you can't have your record played because it offends them. Tyrants are made of such stuff.
Who you gonna believe-me or your lying eyes?
I urge you to ask yourself just how honorable it is to preside over the abuse and suffering of animals.
You can have a film and have 200 white people working on it, and nobody finds anything wrong with that. But if you insist on having a black crew, all of a sudden there's something wrong.
I bought my parents a home before they died, and they got to see that I was going to be all right. They always thought I would go someplace.
The MS really started going downhill in 1990.
What I am for is justice for everyone, just like it says in the Constitution.
When you're running down the street on fire, people get out of your way!
If I ain't horny, I check to see if my heart's beatin'.
It's been a struggle for me because I had a chance to be white and refused.
Yes, I'm religious. God has shown me things, made certain ways clear to me.
I think about being married again, having a home and a wife. No one can ever be married too many times, and maybe if I keep trying I'll get it right one day.
I was a loner and never hung out with anyone. I never had any friends.
But for the use of physical punishment by, and fear of their oppressors, animals would never be a part of a circus.
I ain't no movie star, man. I'm a booty star.
Sure, I have friends, plenty of friends, and they all come around wantin' to borrow money. I've always been generous with my friends and family, with money, but selfish with the important stuff like love.
The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.
